Be the revealed unconscious of the visually suppressed conscious.
In our day to day affairs, we are undoubtedly faced with fears, worries, frustrations, sadness, guilt and numerous other negative emotions. Oftentimes we are walking from point A to B unable to fathom why such defeating feelings are overwhelming us. We hear of monks washing dishes, carrying water and sweeping the floor with immense states of happiness and we ask ourselves “Why can I not be happy simply walking to the grocery store?” A feeling persists and a thought surfaces. “Perhaps if I solve this thought, I will be happy.” We put our energy into trying to understand pain until the material world demands something of us and we are left, once again, abandoning ourselves.
It is time to free the inner world.
Become aware of the mess. “There is a mess.” “There is disorder.” “There is chaos.” We have to understand firmly and admit to ourselves peacefully and lovingly that there is a mess. Now before guilt can creep in, we have to say to ourselves “It’s fine.” Guilt, shame and frustration will enter only when we compare our current state to where we want to be. How can we get to where we want to be without first accepting where we currently are? “I am a mess. I am emotional. I am sensitive. I feel X, Y, Z.” Good, you are closer to Freedom. Guilt will also creep in when we compare our mess to others’ supposedly organized lives. Stop, this is an illusion. Most people are not kept together. No matter how confident, successful and happy people seem to be; they are not. If they say they are, do not believe them. If they talk about their successful career, beautiful children, undying romance, still do not believe them. Only when standing next to them, you feel an overwhelming warmth and sensation of peace, believe them. We will see this as we explore our inner worlds.
For now, just admit, there is a mess.
Accept the hidden world. There is a hidden world that exists beneath the thoughts of which we become aware. This hidden world is called the unconscious. Within the unconscious, there are raw emotions, impulses, feelings etc. They can exist in the form of “I hate, I am angry, I want to hurt, I want to destroy…” etc. These restless feelings are reactions to pain. Therefore, we have to understand our pain. From childhood till now, we have experienced immeasurable amounts of pain in the form of abandonment, abuse, insult, humiliation and much more. We are still trying to figure out where to put this blame. In the journey of life, the body and mind are forced to move forward, thus suppressing and repressing pain whenever possible. Now, let us think to ourselves lovingly: How can we be happy in our day to day life without at least being aware of this?
Connect the Unconscious with the Conscious. When we understand that the way we act, react and feel today may be influenced by the pain experienced in childhood, we can gradually give more attention to ourselves. If someone insults me by calling me a failure, do we really think that this was the first time I felt this pain? The pain from being called a failure; feeling like a loser, incompetent, unworthy, unreliable. Is this the first time I have felt this? No. I must ask myself: When have I felt this before? Throughout my life, when have I felt like a failure? Who were the people calling me a failure? Why did they call me a failure? At the time, what was going on in my life, in their life? Inquire; incessantly inquire but do not ask one question: Is it true? This question is a trap, because we are not here to assess a meaningless question of what other disorganized and unhappy people have labeled us, we are here to understand ourselves-what we think of us. Slowly by slowly, simply become aware of the hidden impulses and feelings that run our lives. The impulses directed towards our enemies, friends and even family. “Why should I not feel guilty of my unconscious feelings?” Because you are not in control of your unconscious mind. You are only in control of being aware of it, watching it, and freeing your hidden frustrations in a loving and peaceful manner. In fact, you are not the mind. Do you see why most people are not happy? They are not doing this. They are not even aware of what is running them. Why even entertain the idea of what they think of us? Forget money, fame, status and even intelligence. Value awareness in a person and you will then become immune to 90% of the things people will say to you, because 90% of people are not aware.
Free Ourselves. Now, we have admitted to the mess. We have become aware of the unconscious. We see how it is connected to our day to day functioning. What is next? Simple: repetition of this process by daily reflection, introspection and meditation. Awareness, as the ability to watch ourselves as we act, will be gradually cultivated as we turn inwards and observe our states of mind. Whatever is going on externally, whether someone insults you, yells at you, disappoints you, makes you feel jealous, angry or sad; watch it. Carefully, watch your internal state of mind. “Why should I not react?” Because they cannot help you! Their judgement, opinion, cooperation will not do a single thing for your overall well being. The beauty of the situation is that the external world functions to show you where your insecurities are. Look within, find these restless feelings in the unconscious and peacefully allow an emotional release. While reading these words, please understand that as you cross your legs, make your back straight, close your eyes and take a deep breath with the intention of freeing yourself, at some point that breath will give you a purpose that you cannot even imagine. A single breath and a journey to presence will bring you this freedom.
There is nothing anyone can give you, that you cannot give yourself.
You are free.
-Hemal P. Trivedi